Love is the Answer

Dear Reader,

Last week I was thinking about which question I would answer in this column. This week, my dad ended up in ICU and I was wondering if I would be able to answer any of them. Early one morning, the answer came to me—I will answer them all.  

When I walked into his room in the ICU earlier this week, my dad had a legal pad, a sharpened pencil and a pen on the tray by his hospital bed. My dad is in the ICU, but he is not without his legal pad. If I were a betting person, I would say he has a legal pad on the kitchen table, one on the coffee table in the living room, and one on the nightstand by his bed. The pages of his pad are usually filled with something work related, but if someone comes to Dad with a problem, he flips to a clean page, grabs his pencil and draws a line down the middle. On one side he writes the word, “pros,” and on the other, “cons.” He has solved many issues that way.

No, I am not going to suggest the legal pad method as the solution to every problem. But what I will say is that when someone you love is in the hospital, the small stuff falls by the wayside and it helps you get very clear about your priorities. It helps you to see that love is the answer.    
To the college student who is afraid to tell her mother over the holiday break that she wants to be an artist: love is the answer. Love yourself enough to follow your passion. My dad loved me even when I told him I was majoring in psychology and not business. I’m sure your mother will, too.

To the reader whose spouse attends a different church: love is the answer. Maybe you can attend one holiday service at his church and another at yours.  

To the newlywed who is upset because her parents disapprove of her husband: love is the answer. You vowed to love your husband no matter what.

To the young mother who is stressing herself out trying to plan a perfect holiday for her children: love yourself enough to cut yourself some slack. Your kids are not going to remember whether or not everything was picture perfect. They will remember that you loved them and spent time with them.  

I feel my dad’s procedure is going to go well. I hope I didn’t make any typos during these early morning hours as I write this, but I will try not to be too hard on myself. To the young mother of two: I recommend you do the same.
 
Whatever your question, love is the answer. This holiday season, tell those you love that you love them. Better yet, don’t wait for the holidays, show them you love them all year long. 

Happy Holidays.