The Art of Aging

The reality of turning 50 this year is staring me in the face, but I have decided not to let that intimidate me. I think some baby boomers may be making more out of this aging idea than is really there. I’m not sure what the next decade will bring, but let’s face it, no matter where we come from or at what point in time we begin our life journey, the one inevitable fact for most of us is that we will grow old. How we fare on the journey has a lot to do with how we face life’s challenges along the way.

When we are young we want answers and closure on issues. Life is much more black and white to us and we are not tolerant of ambiguity. With age comes knowledge that the gray areas are to be accepted, in hair color as well as life.

I married a man seven years younger than me and some of my closest friends are old enough to be my parents, so age has never been an issue. But as I approach the half century mark at break-neck speed, I’m reminded that some people retire in their 50s. People often become grandparents in their 50s and celebrate momentous wedding anniversaries in their 50s. But people also create and build and invent in their 50s. They touch lives and influence others.

They write the Great Novel that has yet to be written, and they pave the way for others to grow and contribute to society. I guess at this age you catch a glimpse of your mortality and make a choice about how you feel and how you want to live the rest of your life.

I recently reconnected with some old high school friends through Facebook. We had a reunion at The Dove’s Nest and I realized that although we hadn’t seen each other in more than 30 years, we weren’t uptight about our appearance or felt the need to brag about our accomplishments in life. Instead we were comfortable, if not a bit irreverent and fun in a whole new way. I actually felt a freedom that I wasn’t taking things so seriously. It doesn’t mean I’m ready for the Red Hat Society, but I know what is important and what isn’t, what needs to be taken to heart and when we can laugh at ourselves and at each other. The mind at 50 is different from what it was at 20, 30, even 40—less incisive, manipulative, sharp, but more intuitive, connected and understanding. I remember when Oprah turned 50 she said, “We don’t have a clue what we’re doing in our 20s, barely improve in our 30s, finally get our act together in our 40s and only hit our stride in our 50s.”
I think it will be liberating to say that I’m 50. I’ve been around the block, as they say, but still feel I’m pretty relevant. I think I am beginning to understand that as I age, I’m getting something that is known as “wisdom.” When I think about it, I’m a lot smarter–and kinder. I’ve experienced some wonderful things in my life. I have seen some incredible parts of the world, along with events and activities I will honor and cherish forever. I have held a dying parent in my arms as they took their last breath and cried with friends as they did the same. Taking time to put it all in perspective and being committed to what you think is most important is a step to wisdom. Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” You don’t have to have one of the great minds of history to realize what a miracle life really is. In fact, he didn’t even believe in a personal God. My Christian beliefs have taught me life is a miracle indeed, and time and maturity bring the wisdom to realize its fragility.

The wisdom comes when you can sort it all out, make sense of it, and see yourself for what you truly are. When you can look inside and you like what you see, that is all part of the journey. I can certainly stand to lose weight and exercise more, but the outward appearance becomes less important than the inward heart. Maybe it’s this repositioning of our assets that makes the 50s such a powerful time in our lives. Think of all the unused powers that we have left forgotten, unused during the years we pursued a career, raised kids, nurtured a marriage and looked after our parents. This power lays dormant in us until we are somehow made ready by time and God’s blessings. Hopefully turning 50 will be an adventure, a passage of hope and good cheer for me. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.