As a working mom, some days I think there just isn’t enough time to get everything done. It’s so easy to lose sight of the importance of taking care of yourself and your relationships. So what can you do to manage stress and relax, even for just a little bit, every day? Try these ideas and give yourself a time out today—from special moments alone, to time with your family or friends, and even developing your faith—you deserve it!
This is for you to take time to re-charge yourself. Light a candle and take a hot bath before bed or steal away to your favorite chair with a cozy blanket and get lost in a book or magazine, even if it’s just for 20 minutes or so. This is your alone time to re-charge. There are 24 hours in a day. Start with taking 15 minutes for yourself every day and work your way up to one hour a day where you only worry about you and your needs. When you neglect your needs, you can’t give your all to the rest of your life or invest well in your other relationships.
This is the time to connect with other women one on one and in groups. Bond with those in similar life stages and circles, whether they be co-workers, parents at your child’s school or even church. This is the time to call and send e-mails to other women. Volunteer with a social organization together, join the PTA or join a mom’s group. Get together with your girlfriends and their kids to play at the park or to make cookies during the holidays. Or meet for late-night coffee or ice cream after you’ve put the kids to bed. This is the time to laugh and share with like-minded women and mothers. It is important to have a community of women friends and mothers—to commiserate with and to remind you that you are not alone.
Make time to connect with your partner on a daily basis. Maybe get up extra early to have breakfast together or stay up late to enjoy a funny sit-com together. Do what you can to make the transition into the evening as smooth as possible by letting your husband get in the door and change into comfortable clothes while you make final dinner preparations. He may need some time after dinner to pay bills or unwind by just reading the paper and later you may want to take a bath in peace while he reads the night-time stories to the kids. Schedule at least one date night a month with your husband. If money is tight, (when isn’t it?) it may have to be a date in the house after the kids have gone to bed or, better yet, trade babysitting with friends who have children of similar ages.
Unfortunately, only one-third of American families eat dinner together on a daily basis. Dr. Catherine Snow of Harvard conducted an eight-year study and the conclusion was that the most important factor in child development is dinnertime. It’s not important what you eat or where—just that it is together. Another good habit to have is a weekly family game night. The point is to make an effort to schedule at least one night a week that is reserved for family togetherness and fun. Start out letting family members take turns choosing games, whether it is a board game or a little Wii bowling. Make cookies together and play games while they are baking or make s’mores together in a backyard fire pit.
Remember to make time to get on the floor and play with the kids one on one, too. Put down that laundry and let the dishes wait a bit while you enjoy some face time with your favorite little people, be they your grandchild, niece, nephew or your own child. Let them be in charge of the moment, even selecting the where and when of the activities (within reason of course). Just enjoy your time together being spontaneous, playing whatever they are most interested in; what matters is that you taking an interest in whatever your child is into at this moment makes that child feel special and important to you. So get down on the floor and play Barbies or create a play dough masterpiece with your daughter, or learn how to play the latest Nintendo DS game your son can’t put down or build a tower with his blocks.
Last but not least, don’t forget about your relationship with the Lord. A friend of mine felt the need to overhaul her prayer life and put herself on a thirty-day prayer challenge in which she asked at least one different person every day for a prayer concern. “By the end of the thirty days, I had a large list, and I was praying on a regular basis for other people; it totally changed my prayer life,” Darlene Snyder said. Investing in a good Bible is essential. My favorite is The Message Remix in which, unlike the original Message, the chapters are numbered. It is written in contemporary language that is much like talking with a good friend. I also recommend a Daily Devotional, with specific topics from motherhood to marriage and more—there is something for everyone. A journal in which you can write down scripture, prayer requests and answers as well as your blessings and even your frustrations is an excellent way to spend time with the Lord as well.
